My soul is weeping

By now most people in the world would've heard about the cruel destruction of the Garden City Christchurch in New Zealand by the deadly quake on Tuesday 22 February.

Following is an account of my actions and thoughts in that harrowing afternoon four days ago. Please be aware it is long, personal and emotional. Read it ONLY if you want to.


It was a lazy Tuesday. Having worked on Sunday and submitted the job with very tight deadline on Monday, I was trying to relax as well as catching up with editing and uploading some pictures to my photo albums. Having uploaded a lot, I closed the image viewer program, went off to the kitchen to fix some tea and toast for lunch, came back to the lounge/home office and opened Opera to check news.

As expected, there wasn't much happening in my neck of woods. I finished my lunch and finishing my cup of tea when the Encyclopaedia of New Zealand Te Ara tweeted,
'Another earthquake has hit Christchurch… waiting for more information #eqnz'

Oh, another "massive" aftershock that turned out only big enough to break some shop windows, was my first thought. But then Geonet NZ tweeted,
'Quake: mag 6.3, Tue, Feb 22 2011 12:51 pm (NZDT), http://geonet.org.nz/3468575g 10 km south-east of Christchurch'

Magnitude 6.3 is bigger than most of the aftershocks since the 7.1 in September, but still less than a 1/10 of the big one in terms of energy released. Shouldn't be that bad, though the close distance to the city is worrying, I thought. I tried to get to the Geonet page but had to wait some time before the server returned the updated page content. The map showed the epicentre under the port hill right behind the port town of Lyttleton, and the depth of only 5km!

I felt a knot in my stomach. I grew up in Japan. I know how deadly a relatively small quake can be if shallow and right under a city. Still 6.3 was not as big as the 6.8 of the Great Hanshin Awaji Quake Disaster of 1996 that destroyed the city of Kobe and killed nearly 6500 people

By the time I came back from Geonet site, Twitter had several more tweets from the media, though the reports linked were still sketchy other than this quake was indeed "massive". The scale of devastation did not hit me until I saw kiwi photographer Rob Suisted tweet, 'TV3 coverage on TV now of quake. Stunned people. Terrible #eqnz' and turned the TV on.

The images on TV for a minute or so after coming on did not look so bad. People are alive, walking, not many had blood on, some piles of rubbles by the street. Then the TV showed the scene of a man with a leg injury being interviewed, disrupted by the screams and shouts in background. The camera panned, and showed the crumbling spire of the ChristChurch Cathedral, the icon and symbol of the City of Christchurch. My head went empty.

I followed the coverage for some time, but was unable to process what I was seeing. Graphic images of a collapsed building, a group of people on a big pile of rubble presumably trying to rescue someone trapped. More similar images at different location. I could hear the voices of field reporters and the news reader in the studio both shaking and breaking. My hands were cold. A lump in my throat and a big tight knot in my stomach. My eyes were hot.

I don't know how long I was like that. I finally took my eyes off TV and my attention back to the Web. I had subscribed the Civil Defence tweet for some time, and they were now issuing periodical updates of the situation. The "unofficial" NZ Police tweets also delivered news of their update. There were some discrepancies between the media coverage and CD or Police information.

Then I belatedly realised the quake related tweets all bore the #eqnz hashtag. The tweets coming in with #eqnz were truly chaotic. Again some tweets seemed wrong (Chch Hospital is closed! Not true!!) or outdated, without citing the source of information. Without thinking much, I tweeted the info I saw on NZ police website about the triage centres with the #eqnz hashtag. I knew I don't have many followers on Twitter. But still, even if only one person spotted my tweet and passed on, it might help someone.

I kept monitoring updates on the Civil Defence, NZ Police, and later the Canterbury Earthquake website by the Environment Canterbury, and kept tweeting or retweeting what I thought the most important info, such as locations of the triage centres and welfare centres and transport status. I saw one of a known kiwi web critic tweeted to warn inaccuracy of some of the tweets, and someone else replied to use the #src hastag when the source of information is confirmed. I started adding #src to my tweets and was encouraged seeing it RTed or MTed.

Meanwhile the TV screen kept delivering the horrific reality happening in this country real time to my safe and quiet lounge. My dad rang from Japan. I told him, I'm safe. Didn't even feel it. and hang up. We had been told not to use the phone unless emergency. I was busy checking the info and tweeting. And I didn't want him to know I was almost in tears. I used to live in Christchurch. I spent my first two years in NZ there studying and having great adventures. It was nearly 20 years ago, but 20 years is a mere moment in Geological time. That could have been me under the rubble. And why did this have to happen to Christchurch, where no major earthquake had been on record until last September? Why not here in Wellington, or Hawkes Bay, where previously suffered severe earthquake damages?

I went on like that, with TV on and constantly checking the official web sites and tweeting with shaky hands, stopping at times to wipe away tears and blowing nose. I lost the sense of time. Forgot to have dinner until my cat complained at 8pm. Only managed a couple of toast.

A UK based psychologist who worked on the previous September quake tweeted, 'Recommend limiting exposure to repeated viewing of ChCh coverage, no matter how much you want to see it. Step away from the screen #eqnz'. An excellent advice, but very difficult to implement. It took me over an hour before I could finally turn my laptop off after tweeting,
'I'm going off line shortly. My thoughts are with you, Christchurch, and my soul is weeping. Be strong.'

Join the Conversation

  1. My heart goes out to you and all those injured, suffering and grieving after this terrible disaster. I watched your boys play cricket on TV after the first quake hit and understandably their hearts were not in it.From South Africa, prayers and a relief team (Gift of the givers) with donations from across the country.I know it is little but it is at least something.Hugs my dear as your heartfelt post touches me deeply.Helen.

  2. Indeed, in times like this the heroes are born and come from the most unlikely sources. Sure the effects will not leave some hearts ever. Eventually a person adapts and life goes on.A sense of humor is important in times like this even if it is only to relieve the tension.You guys are great. Keep it up dear.Hugs Helen

  3. Thank you very much, Helen, for your kind words and your virtual hugs. Also extremely grateful for the support from South Africa, and the rest of the world. Some things have gone back to normal, such as those annoying TV ads. But it will take for months or even years, before the rubble of Christchurch is cleared from our hearts. However this heartbreaking time is also the time the kiwi spirits have shone through. I've felt my spirit lifted many times when read or heard about stories of ordinary builders stepped into collapsed building help digging out the trapped people, of a guy organised a baking gang and delivered fresh baking and tea to the police and rescue teams every day, of a family sleeping in garage because they gave up their house to take in the people whose houses were destroyed, and other such stories. We will get through this together. [Addendum]Kiwi spirit is not just about caring and heroic. It seems the dry kiwi sense of humour is staring to come back. Check out #eqnzpickuplines 😉

  4. Originally posted by NitroH:

    and life goes on.

    Looks like it does. The Crusaders just demolished the Tahs. Another thing back to normal. 😆 Originally posted by NitroH:

    A sense of humor is important in times like

    Indeed. Laughter is a great medicine for soul. (Though some of #eqnzpickuplines jokes are quite rude :p) Thank you for popping in, and your support. Have a good afternoon, Helen. 🙂

  5. It is unfortunately true that some people cannot draw the define the difference between humor and cr#p, I think it is just an attention grabber and most of the time people do not take notice of it.I have been away for a while dear but it was nice to pay you a visit again even though the circumstances were unfortunate….but then again friendship is not always about only the good.Keep well dear and have a good night's rest.

  6. Some are rubbish or borderline, but I tend to think anything that help you laugh in the face of adversity can help one feeling low realise you may be down but not out. I admit I laughed and felt better reading some. (Earlier I was a little tearful reading back this post and trying to compose response. I'm fine now. Have always been a little cry baby drama queen. :p) Originally posted by NitroH:

    I have been away for a while dear but it was nice to pay you a visit again even though the circumstances were unfortunate….but then again friendship is not always about only the good.

    I'm truly grateful for anyone who read and comment, no matter when. This is not a pretty post to read. Also I haven't visited you and your monkeys for a quite some time myself. Feeling a little guilty.

  7. Not at all my dear, do not feel guilty. I completely understand.Hugs and have a great weekend.

  8. Thank you, Helen. I had a great night sleep and good Sunday sleep in. 🙂 Thank you for the hugs and have a lovely weekend.

  9. Hi, MM, I had to think up this morning to you when I heard about a new earthquake in northeastern Japan. Is your family well? :worried: All the best for you!

  10. Thank you, Angelika. The quake was reasonably big but off the coast and did not cause big shaking. My family should be fine. I was very worried for about 5 seconds until I saw it was 120km off the coast. Then I checked the Japanese Meteorological Agency site for official data, and saw the shaking wasn't so damaging. 🙂

  11. Originally posted by darkesthour:

    We are supposed to get one here soon

    Don't say that! I haven't got my quake kit kitted properly! :insane:

  12. Geez guys, just take all the necessary precautions….be prepared. I am worrying already.

  13. Tis the season to have quakes.. We are supposed to get one here soon :eyes:

  14. Originally posted by darkesthour:

    a pot of peanut butter in the larder…

    Big enough for whole family including your cat and dog? :DOriginally posted by NitroH:

    lots of purifying tablets in case you run out

    That's a good idea :yes:Originally posted by 7Wellis:

    Have fun that's necessary in our lives.

    Don't encourage him!! :no:Originally posted by darkesthour:

    …, we shall see on March 20th

    That's when our theme weeks end. Landscape theme this months :p

  15. Originally posted by darkesthour:

    supposedly aimed at the Hawkes Bay

    I'm sure we're on the same major fault line, The Wellington–Mōhaka Fault.Originally posted by NitroH:

    be prepared. I am worrying already.

    Those magnificent landscapes come at a price. But you are right. I'm not as prepared as I could be. I do have camping gear, tent, warm sleeping bags, portable cooking stove and such likes. I'll need to get extra food and water bottles. I wonder how prepared DH is … 😀

  16. Originally posted by darkesthour:

    ….to get one here soon

    Oh no! :no: We don't want that anymore! I pray for you all! I think it is good to be prepared for all eventualities. But you don't go crazy – otherwise you may lose the joy. Have fun that's necessary in our lives. 🙂

  17. :cheers: No worries, it may well not happen, the guy who predicted it is more than likely incorrect, we shall see on March 20th

  18. That is ok then, but do not wait to get the water taken care of and lots of purifying tablets in case you run out.:yikes:

  19. Originally posted by Angelika:

    I think it is good to be prepared for all eventualities. But you don't go crazy

    This advice may be a bit late for DH, what with him thinking a pot of peanutbutter fulfills his disaster preparedness needs. :DI have to say there are quite a few people in the U.S. who are predicting an imminent financial armageddon. I don't know if you have been following what our federal reserve is doing… quantitative easing 2. As part of this the feds are currently buying 70% of our own federal debt… essentially by printing money… or to use economic speak, "increasing the monetary supply". Anyway many are saying that hyperinflation is just around the corner and recommending that people go out and buy their pots of peanutbutter whike the dollar is still worth something.

  20. Originally posted by debplatt:

    …him thinking a pot of peanut butter fulfills his disaster preparedness …

    If he normally eats so much peanut butter, he is prepared to completely sufficient

  21. Originally posted by mimi_s_mum:

    Tsunami warnings for up to 10m have been issued and communities near coast are evacuating.

    Tsunami up to 7.5m and flooding of a regional airport 2km inland have been reported. This is bad.

  22. I don't know what to say. But several strong earthquakes hit the same part of Japan just over 1.5 hours ago.I called my parents and they were fine. I told them to check well being of relatives and friends closer the the epicentres.The first quake, preliminary rated Mg 7.9, later revised to 8.4 by Japanese Meteorological Agency*, was felt most part of Japan. Tsunami warnings for up to 10m have been issued and communities near coast are evacuating. This quake was followed by 7.0 in the same area and 7.4 considerably closer to Tokyo. I'm sure my parents' place is over 10m in altitude. But I'm concerned about another large aftershock closer to where they are. :([Addendum]*It is now revised to 8.8 by JMA[Update]Japanese shaking map pages replaced with official JMA English seismology information site pages

  23. Originally posted by mimi_s_mum:

    Tsunami up to 7.5m and flooding of a regional airport 2km inland have been reported. This is bad.

    That sounds terrible. I am with you in mind! Feel embraced virtually.

  24. Thank you, Angelika. I could use some good hugs right now. I was feeling sick a little looking at TV coverage of the devastation the horrific tsunami caused in the North Eastern Japan.My parents were lucky that this quake happened where it did and Tokyo and the surrounds escaped relatively lightly. But that's no comfort to those in the quake struck area.I can't believe this is happening again, the second time in a month.

  25. I understand your fears very well and think it is terrible. This powerless feeling and then you're so far away and can only watch. All the best for you and your relatives! I found this about this Tsunami.

  26. At least my family are safe. That is the main thing for me right now. Thank you very much for your support, Angelika. You have a good day.

  27. Just woke up to this horrible news. My deepest condolances go out to the families of the victims. Virtual hugs go out to you, MM. They are saying that this is the 7th most powerful quake in recorded history. I still haven't heard if the tsunami has taken additional victims. I am watching the news now. This is definitely one of those events where rationing news watching might be a good idea. Will try to contribute something toward the recovery.I am relieved that your family was spared.

  28. It's nightmarish. I just heard an unconfirmed news report that there are currently 88,000 missing in Japan. That is so terrible it is hard to take in.The tsunami produced by this massive quake has just hit California. A recent news report says that four people in Crescent City, California were swept out to sea by it. One of these individuals has been confirmed dead. There was much advance warning of the tsunami over here. Not sure how this incident happened.

  29. Thank you for your support and virtual hugs, Deb. Much appreciated. Originally posted by debplatt:

    This is definitely one of those events where rationing news watching might be a good idea.

    I am still worried about a large after shock hitting near Tokyo. This is not just one big jolt, but a superquake with the fault breaking at multiple places over 300km stretch of sea trough.Another strong quake hit this time inland. M6.6 (provisional) depth only 10km. This is not in the area related to yesterday's superquake, but deep in the most mountainous area of central Japan. I'm stunned.

  30. I am also hearing that four passenger trains are unaccounted for, that a dam burst and villages downstream were inundated. There are also reports of areas that are being evacuated because the cooling system in at least one nuclear reactor has been compromised. Again the scale of the thing is so big it is hard to wrap one's mind around it. And as you mention, there have been numerous, intense after shocks.

  31. Originally posted by debplatt:

    there are currently 88,000 missing in Japan.

    Official estimate says 185 confirmed dead, another up to 300 reported dead but unconfirmed and 500 missing. Reports also said many small coastal communities were swept away with no way of knowing how many people were missing. It is a nightmare. Another quake occurred half an hour ago on the other side of the main land, on the West coast. That's the third area with relatively large quake in 24 hours. There are many such areas in Japan where historic quakes caused moderate to severe damage. It seems the superquake yesterday has set off a chain of quakes over the country, a sort of domino effect. And that's what I'm most worried about, a repeat of the devastating Great Kanto Earthquake of 1923

  32. Originally posted by debplatt:

    They are venting radioactive steam to release pressure.

    As of about 40 minutes ago, it was reported the operator could not release the pressure now because they lack the power supply to do it. 🙁

  33. Originally posted by mimi_s_mum:

    This is not just one big jolt, but a superquake with the fault breaking at multiple places over 300km stretch of sea trough.

    Here's the expert's explanation

    The Earthquake Research Committee chaired by Tokyo University professor emeritus Katsuyuki Abe held an extraordinary meeting on Friday night. At a news conference, Abe said an observation conducted at an observatory using a GPS earthquake tracker shows that the ground there has moved about 4 meters to the west. The panel has concluded that all 4 expected focal regions were synchronized. The 4 regions make up a stretch of a few hundred kilometers, from waters off Miyagi prefecture to waters off Ibaraki prefecture.

  34. Well now I'm hearing that radiation in the area around that nuclear power plant is 1000 times greater than the normal level. They are venting radioactive steam to release pressure. Experts here are saying that the plant is taking appropriate safety measures. Authorities are clearing a wider area around the plant to keep people safe.

  35. Originally posted by debplatt:

    a dam burst and villages downstream were inundated.

    You seem to know something I don't 😆 I've been relying on the national broadcaster NHK for information, and they are notoriously conservative. The scale of the event is simply beyond the mind of anyone. I've been also monitoring the official information from the Fire and Disaster Management Agency. There are chilling statements such as an entire city having been almost completely destroyed, but with a very small number of confirmed deaths.

  36. Thank you, DH. I'm still still in shock and having difficulty grasping the magnitude of this disaster. And it's not over yet. In addition to my fear of large quake domino effect, I just saw the news that the operator cannot release the pressure off one of the nuclear reactors in the disaster struck area, which has been overheating since the quake due to power cut and tsumani damage making it impossible to supply cooling water. Also saw another news saying the most of the major port facilities in Eastern Japan is out of commission. Given Japan's reliance on imported food supplies, there could be a serious food shortage in coming days or even weeks.

  37. The latest news said the second nuclear power plant in the quake struck Fukushima Prefecture was reporting emergency having trouble controlling temperature in three reactors 🙁

  38. I heard that they are operating it on battery power. I don't know how long they can keep going that way.Three Californians were swept out to sea because they went to the shore to take photographs. One of the photographers is confirmed dead.

  39. They seemed to manage to get enough power to release the presser at the First plant, so the worst (TMI) would be avoided. :sigh of relief:Aftershocks seem settled for last few hours, not so big ones. But you never know when an aftershock comes a little too close. :(I've been up on the roof washing down. A slow job without water blaster. Find somewhat therapeutic but every now and then the images of tsunami swallowing up cars and houses pop up in my head. 🙁 Still better to get one thing done, when there's nothing I can do for the catastrophe.

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